My Diary To My Unborn Child
by Mrs. Ernie Macmillan
Summary: Ginny is finshing up her 7th year when a month before end of term she recieves some news. This is what she wrote to her baby
1. Chapter 1

My Diary To My Unborn Child

Chapter 1

**May 17, 1998**

To the child I carry now,

I am not even sure what you are or who you will be, but I know that someday you will be great because, when you're my child, that is your destiny. I am not sure if your father even wanted you, and I am not sure what I am going to do, but you are here now and we have to deal with the consequences of our actions. Your father is a great wizard and someone you should always respect. He saved the world. He might not love you or want you around, but I want you and that's what matters. You are not planned, but I will take you for all you are worth. I only have about a month until I graduate from Hogwarts; then I can have a better idea of what I am going to do with you. Mum is going to kill me when she finds out that I got pregnant, but what is there for her to do? I love your father so much, but he is off now training to fight a war. I can't tell him about you until he is safe and I know I am safe.

You might be tiny, but I know you will be loved by many people. You are a gift. But I must be off because I have to think up a way to do my Transfiguration N.E.W.T. since I am no longer allowed to do anything that could harm you in class.

**May 20, 1998**

Hello, Baby. That's what I have decided that I want to call you until I know what you will be. I kind of let it slip to Hermione that I thought I might be pregnant and she showed up at school today. All I did was write her an owl asking if she had any ideas for how to take a Transfiguration N.E.W.T. without doing anything to your body. I told her it was for a friend. It's bad; Hermione is so scared for me and what Mum will do to me when she finds out. Hermione looked me over to make sure I was pregnant. Wow . . . three weeks along already. 

It's kind of scary to think about it: I am going to be somebody's mum. I think about my mum and how she did all this stuff for me and my brothers. How am I going to be able to do those things? She knows when to change a nappy and how to feed a baby. She can discipline us without even thinking about it. She knows all these things! There is so much for me to learn, and I know I can't tell my family yet because they will want me home now. I have to graduate! That's the second most important thing behind having you with me. 

Well, I have to go, Baby, because I need to do my Potions work and work on Charms. This is going to be very interesting.

**May 25, 1998**

Wow, Baby! I have not written to you in a while – I am sorry, I have just been so busy.

I think I have been busted. Today Sally pulled me to the side of the hallway and just looked at me and said that if I need anything to just ask because she understood what I was going through. What was Sally talking about? Does she know? Unless Hermione told somebody, though, how would she know? Please tell me Hermione is not telling a certain brother of mine! I would hate for Harry to find out from somebody else that I am having his baby and have not told him yet. He is already going to be mad because I should have told him from day one, but I could not let him take me out of school. So now I am just waiting two weeks until I am out of here. 

That means tomorrow starts our N.E.W.T.s. I had to break down and tell McGonagall that I was pregnant and that I could not do self-Transfiguration. I thought she might die the way she looked at me with that "you have been a bad girl" expression. Her lips were so tightly pressed that I was scared she would eat them. I got a very long lecture about how I should have been more responsible for my life and not gotten into this mess. She did not even bother to ask who the father was or anything because she knew that Harry was involved in there somewhere. 

I am serious, Baby. When you come to Hogwarts, watch out for McGonagall! She has had one too many trouble-makers – your father, Harry, and his father and his friends, and especially your uncles, for example. Don't ever eat anything your Uncles Fred or George give you; they will want to give you their jokes, which are not so funny when you're in the middle of eating. One day you'll know what I mean. Well Baby, I must get some sleep if it's at all possible. Goodnight.

**May 27, 1998**

Oh my God, Baby, sometimes you make things difficult! I was in the middle of taking my Charms practical exam, and all of a sudden I got sick. I love you, but can't we work out a way so I can at least make it through a stupid test? If I keep throwing up like this, somebody is going to be able to guess what's happening. Harry wrote me today and told me he was going to be able to come back to see me on the 14th of June, the day I am officially finished with Hogwarts. I've decided that I am going to tell him as soon as I have him to myself. He also said that he wanted to see me alone so he could give me a special reward. 

I am five weeks along! I know that does not sound like much, but it is to me. You are special no matter what anyone says to you. Oh wait, must go – Jessica is coming, and I can't let her see this.

**May 31, 1998**

I feel like my body's just purged all of my lunch from the past two days. You'd better be worth all this miserable sickness. I finally told somebody else today. I felt, for my safety, I needed to let somebody else in on the secret. I told Jessica, my best friend; she is so happy for me, but it's still scary – even for her. She told me that no matter what she wanted to help with you. See, I told you that you were loved and you're only six weeks old –that must be a record! I am still not sure how I am going to tell your father, but I know he needs to know and it's better to tell him when he is here than in a letter.

If I can convince Mum to let me live away from the Burrow, Jessica and I want to get a flat – maybe in a small town or something. If I can't live on my own, though, maybe Mum will let Jessica stay with us. She has no desire to fight in the war but she might anyway. You never know what will happen. I know that I can't fight like I wanted to; that was the plan, but then you came along. Maybe it is for the best. Now Harry does not have to worry that I am out doing something reckless with my life. 

There's just two weeks until I am out of school for good and then you and I are off to change the world. Do you know that you are going to be famous because you are the child of the Boy Who Lived? I would never let you grow up in the limelight, though, and I know Harry would not want you to grow up thinking you're better than everyone else. Bye for now, Baby. I have homework. (Isn't it strange your mother has to do her homework?)

**June 2, 1998**

Baby, do not ever listen to what people like Crabbe say about you. Crabbe is just upset since he is still in Hogwarts. Never thought much of those Slytherins and I guess he just proves it daily. 

You are in no way a bastard. You are loved by your family, and your father loves you too – I know he will. I should not have been talking to Jessica in our Potions N.E.W.T. I know not to say anything about you with others around, but she asked how you were doing and whether I wanted a boy or girl. Oh, and just let me say: I don't care what you are as long as you're somebody I can love.

Anyway, Crabbe heard me telling Jessica that I was feeling a bit sick and he just burst out in class, yelling about how Saint Potter had knocked up his poor excuse of a girlfriend and is not even going to make it better and that he "probably doesn't even want the bastard of a child". He told me how much of a conquest I must have been to Harry and I just lost it. I ran out of the room crying. Jessica told me that Snape did not even do anything to Crabbe for his outburst in an exam but took ten points from Gryffindor for my leaving early.

I can't bear to face the school tomorrow. It is going to be all over the papers in the morning, and I have not gotten the chance to tell Harry in person. Maybe I should just write him a letter and tell him that I have huge surprise for him when he comes in twelve days. That's what I think I am going to do right now.

**June 3, 1998**

Well baby, it's all over the school. Everyone kept coming up to me at breakfast and asking me if it was true that I was having Harry's baby. Thank God Jessica was there with me; she kept them away, mostly. There was a lovely article in _The Daily Prophet_ about how Harry and I had a steamy one night relationship, which is not at all true. Harry and I have been dating since October. Oh great – this looks like an owl from a family member. . . . 

Ah, my dear brothers Charlie and Bill have seen the article and are working on calming Mum down. She is absolutely appalled that they would write such lies about her innocent daughter. Wonderful. That means I get to go home and tell Mum that the whole story was not just a big lie. Jessica has to come with me to the Burrow, or Mum will kill either Harry or me. Who knows – maybe us both. And here comes another owl. . . .

Hermione is such a sweetheart.  I should not have asked her to lie to Ron but she is good at it. She apparently is keeping them from finding out the truth since they know that I would have confined it in her if it was true.  It appears that Ron is working on calculating when was the last time I have seen Harry. For his part, Harry is scared out of his mind over what my parents are thinking right now about this article, and he does not have a clue that it is the truth. And it appears that my dear brothers Forge and Gred have sent Harry some Muggle protection and a list of contraceptive spells and potions. Leave it to the twins to find something funny in this whole thing.

I told a few people who go to school with me about me and Harry, and now I'm getting these snide comments about how I'm a slag and all kinds of nasty things from other students. I just can't wait until tomorrow when all those hate letters are bound to start arriving.

**June 5, 1998**

Hello, my Baby. I know yesterday was horrible. But it will get better; we just have to wait until I am out of school. That is only seven more days. I am sorry that all those people think you are either a figment of my imagination or someone else's baby that I am just pinning on Harry. I want you to know that there is no doubt you are Harry's baby and that they will know the truth soon enough.

I hope you get my hair and your father's eyes. I just love his green eyes, but if you had his messy hair, I think it would be too much for me. It would be funny if you had red hair and green eyes because his mother had almost the same shade of red as my hair, and she was the one who gave Harry his eyes. Is it wrong to hope that you look more like me than your father? You are going to be pretty.

It's just so funny; I got so many letters yesterday, you would have though I was terribly popular, but most of them just told me I was out to wreck Harry's life. I got called into Dumbledore's office today. I guess McGonagall had not told him. Everyone is acting like this is the first time something like this has happened in school but it has happened at least once before that I know of. That girl Hannah from Hufflepuff left a month before graduation last year and from what I hear, she, Ernie and the baby are quite happy. Dumbledore seems rather dumbfounded that Harry would take the chance to put me in more danger than I already am but, like I keep telling people, I am able to take care of myself. I'm in a bad mood, baby. I should go before I write things I don't mean.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**June 7, 1998**

Mum wrote today 

_Dear Ginny_

_Hello, my sweet daughter. I just want to say how sorry I am that they are writing these things in the paper and that your father and I are doing our best to get them to print a retraction, but they seem to think they have a more reliable source. We know that you would not go off and do something like that, and we know Harry is a good boy. We will be at the train station to pick up you and Jessica. Don't Jessica's parents want to see her when she gets out of school though? She has been away for almost ten months Ginny, your father and I are considering letting you and Jessica move to a flat away from home, but we still need to think about it. You are an adult now, after all. When you get here we need to talk. _

_Love,_

_ Mum_

What does she mean, "We need to talk"? I don't think I did anything to get a special talking to, but I guess we will find out Friday right. Jessica is going to be happy that my parents are letting her come and stay with us for a while. I don't think Mum knows that Jessica's mum and dad told her not to come home this year because of all their fights. Baby, you don't know how much Jessica loves you already. She defends you everyday. I am just so happy. You know, I think life is going to be okay for us. Even if I am apart from your father, we will always have Jessica with us. Now that exams are done, things this week are going to be much more relaxed. 

Now comes the waiting and praying. I really hope I will be able to get a nice job in the Ministry's Department of Transportation. This is a good time for me to be throwing up since I don't have classes, but knowing you, that won't happen. Well Baby I'm tired, so I am going to sleep.

**June 9, 1998**

Wow Baby - I am almost two months pregnant. Sometimes I lay in bed and think that this must all be a dream because there is no way this would happen to little Ginny. You and your father must be a dream; those things don't happen to me, especially not with my brother's best friend. For safety reasons your father and I never really wanted others to know about us. It is bad enough that Ron puts himself on the line everyday because they are friends; they don't think I would be able to handle it. I am a very strong person and I want everyone to know that Harry and I are in love. If you are very lucky you won't have to live with Voldemort and his Death Eaters, like we're doing now. I pray to God that you will not have to live through this nor remember it. 

It's kind of funny … I always told myself that when I had kids I would make sure that they were protected, and look at us right now -there is no guarantee that you will be safe. But there will sure as hell be a fight if you're not. I have quit answering the questions people ask about Harry and me because I see no point. People hear what they want to hear. It's kind of sad; I actually had to tell off some first year today because she was talking about us. I don't get why my personal business is any of theirs. Wow. Mummy is a bit grumpy, I guess. I hope your dad writes me soon. I am not sure I can live much longer unless I hear from him.

**June 11, 1998**

Yea Baby, Daddy wrote to me! I only write this to you so you will understand how my mind is working and so that, when I'm dead, you will be able to say, "Look, this is what my mum was like!"

_Ginny_

_Hey my love, how have you been? I hope you're not too stressed out over school. I know you're leaving tomorrow for home. I hope your grades are all what you expected. I really do love you, Ginny. You know, your bloody bother is right scary when he gets mad. Keeps thinking I deflowered his dear sister, and I did no such thing! She violated me, right? (Wink, wink!) Sorry I did not write earlier; I was a bit worried your family might curse me. Well, I was worried Ron would curse me. Tell your brothers that it was a very good try with the Muggle condoms, but I think we have it under control. We all are coming to see you on the 14th. So I guess that means you have to deal with Ron. Training has been very interesting, and I just think of you when times get tough. You know that when all this is through we will be able to tell people about us and be together. Well, I have to go, but I will see you soon._

_Love Always,_

_Harry_

Oh man, he is in for a big surprise on Sunday! Ah, and Ron will be there, too --this shall be fun. At least Hermione can keep him calm (let's hope). Now, time to worry about what mum will say when we have to tell her. I am not showing too much, but it is okay because I have some larger clothes. Man, I can just see Mum's face now. "What were you thinking Ginny? Didn't we teach you better?" I don't think Mum realizes that we did use protection … You were just a surprise that happened along the way. But you are a good surprise, like a birthday present. Well, I am going. It's fairly late and I need to get some sleep before we leave for the train.

**June 12, 1998**

Okay, i just got up and am putting all my stuff in my trunk like I should have done last night before going to sleep. Jessica is helping me since she is always on task and has all her things packed. This is going to be one fun train ride home --and look at me a licensed witch! I think this is one of my prouder days. We are free now! Do you know what that means? … Good 'cause I have no idea, either. Well, I have to stop for the time being since we need to get down to the train. 

Hey I like the idea of being able to defend myself now! I am sitting in a compartment with Jessica and Luna, and we are just talking. It seems that Luna has some plans to meet up with Neville in a couple of weeks so they can get to know each other. It's so lovely; everyone has these romances that are becoming something more. I kind of wish I was allowed to be more public about us, but we just can't. Luna says she loves you, too. You have a way of working on my bladder, but it's okay, I guess. It turns out that Luna is going to be writing for her dad's paper, _The_ _Quibbler_. It does not surprise me though because that's who she is. Jessica is not sure what she wants to do with her life. I think she should go on and try to teach since she is very good at that. Mummy is sort of tried, so I am going to take a small nap before we get to the platform.

**June 13, 1998**

Oh wow -- last night was so much fun! I should have taken the time to write you last night, but I did not and that's my fault. Mum had this huge dinner waiting for me and Jessica when we got home. Mum talked to me last night and guess what it was all about? She is fairly sure that Harry and I are serious. She talks to me like I don't understand what is going on. I am supposed to be safe and use some contraceptive spells. Ah, and the thing to top it off: my mother tells me how fertility is just in our genes. So basically, I was one of those surprises you hear about. I guess it's good that Mum knows what I do with Harry is my business, but it's still freaky to hear my mother telling me that I was once in your place. 

Your father is supposed to be here tomorrow; that is going to be a happy day. I have decided how I am telling Harry. I am going to get him alone, which should not be too difficult since Ron and Hermione will be here and they pretty much keep each other entertained all day. I think I will ask him if he still meant what he told me at Christmas about having a family together. If he does not mean it, I don't think I will tell him just yet. I am pretty sure he still means it though. How do you tell your parents that their innocent daughter got pregnant by her eighteen year old boyfriend? Jessica is here with me, thank God, so at least I have one strong person on my side. 

**June 14, 1998**

It's very early in the morning, but I had to write because I am so nervous. What if everything I have ever thought is wrong? What if I am not truly loved --- what if it was all a game we played? Wait --I can't think that way; it's not the right thing to say. Okay Baby, I am sorry for ranting … I am going to lay down and maybe get some sleep. Harry will be here at noon, so I should be able to get a few more hours. 

Okay it's a much better time to write. Well, I over slept this morning. I am not sure if that's bad or good. Harry woke me up though. I really was not expecting him to be the one waking me up because Jessica said she would. Since I thought it was her, I was like "just five more minutes, Jessica; Baby is tired." When I opened my eyes, who do I see there but Harry. 

He'd just stood there, looking dumbfounded and I could tell he was trying to make sense of what I'd just said. When I realized it was him and saw the understanding dawning on his face, I panicked and pulled the covers over my head, trying to edge as far from him as possible. But he crawled in after me, asking what was wrong and begging me not to cry, as I'd just let slip a huge sob. 

He told me that whatever it is, we would make it through like we always had, and then he asked me, "What do you mean, 'baby'?" I ignored his question, though, and made him repeat that we could make it through anything. He swore that he meant it and kissed me, and I finally admitted that I'm two months pregnant, and I curled up as close to the wall as I could manage. 

"You . . . what?" he'd asked. I told him again, and I apologized, but he just pulled me closer to him and asked me what I had to be sorry for, saying that it was just a "big surprise, that's all." 

I guess we are okay then, Baby. It's nice to be able to talk to Harry in person again. Ron was up here just a while ago and sort of found Harry and me under my covers. He is flipping out now, so I have to go and calm him down before he gets Mum started.


End file.
